The Federalist Five
Appointed for life, and thus practically divine
No one can doubt those wise men and women of nine.
But five in particular are quite a cadre
Voting together, they made many decisions, some quite tawdry.
There’s Thomas, Scalia and Rehnquist—the solid three.
And then Kennedy and O’Connor, each is truly the key.
The Federalist Five they come together to make
And they leave the dissenting four alone in their wake.
With Lopez it began, all up in a hullabaloo.
The Court, it was shifting, and it left us without a clue.
Was this the beginning of a revolution of sorts?
No one could tell, not even professors of torts.
Then came Morrison, a tricky case indeed.
This one would test how tall would grow the seed.
The Five proved to the world that they had the gall.
Not even violence against women would grab from the Court their Ball.
But commerce would not stand alone, oh no!
Section 5 of the Fourteenth Amendment soon came in toe.
With Boerne and College Savings, Allen v. Maine and later Garrett—
States’ immunity was here to stay, and we’d have to grin and bear it.
Or so it seemed…
But now comes Hibbs, and Sabri, and Lane to boot
With Raich on the horizon, the revolution could now be moot.
Could commerce and enforcement be back with the feds?
Was it all just a dream? Were we just all in our beds?
I guess it was real, it wasn’t an illusion,
The Federalist Five, more powerful than cold fusion
They changed the way think about the balance of power,
But finally, it seems, it’s time to retire,
We had a good run, let’s go back to the ivory tower!