December 19, 2004

Alternative Careers

by PG

Usually, those symposia on alternative careers held at law schools talk about public interest, academia or -- big stretch -- journalism. The implicit assumption is now that you have that JD, you're going to use it somehow, even if it's not at a law firm. But what about those of us who fail out after first semester, unable to comprehend Torts and remember the result in that case where the woman was attacked in the hallway and the landlord was sued? What are our alternative careers?

In this, I for once am way ahead of the pack. I may not have my outline finished, I may not know where my multilith is so I can review the articles contained therein, but I have A Plan. With two parts.

1) Get Taco Cabana franchises for the other 47 states, i.e. those other than Texas, Oklahoma and New Mexico. I actually nicked this idea from a friend who was worried about his post-clerking employment, but now that he's safely employed in a big firm, he's not going to be doing it, so I can.

That the top Google hits for "breakfast tacos" "new york city" are about Austin and Dallas-area eateries reassures me that the competition for middle of the night Mexican in Manhattan will be limited to the highly-recommended but, let's face it, mildly sketchy truck stand at 96th and Broadway.

2) Start a country music radio station in New York City. The biggest city in the United States, and it currently has none such, while Rochester, Utica, Albany (interesting disclaimer), and other towns do. I'm unclear on the market failure that resulted in this anomaly, but it must be corrected.

In both cases, I will be serving humanity much better than I would be as a lawyer. New York has eleventy billion attorneys, but a massive shortage of breakfast tacos and country music. Yes, I'll have wasted this past semester's tuition, plus all that money on law school applications and LSAT prep, but what is that compared to a wasted life?

December 19, 2004 02:59 AM | TrackBack

By some strange coincidence, on December 19th, at 2:59 am, I was at the truck stand at 96th and Broadway.

Posted by: Ted at December 23, 2004 11:04 PM
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