In honor of the new US News law school rankings in which New York University and Columbia share the #4 spot, the faculty members who are movin' on down to the Village, and the likelihood that NYU will whup Columbia once again in the Dean's Cup, I feel moved to quote a novel set in 1987 Manhattan that I recently re-read. The book's inspiration was an infamous 1986 Newsweek article that claimed by 40, a single college-educated white woman was "more likely to be killed by a terrorist" than to get married, and a series of events leads the protagonist to be arrested:
Someday I would look back on this and laugh. "Hahaha," I'd say to my grandchildren, "did I ever tell you about the time I was charged with first-degree murder? It took Uncle Brook a whole hour to get me off." All I needed was Charley Ray's lawyer -- my lawyer, the man who would become my children's and grandchildren's beloved Uncle Brook -- to stride in, briefcase locks snapping, and take me home. I tried to imagine Charley Ray's lawyer. Did bikers use the same sort of lawyer as the mob did? Probably not quite that classy. Cheaper restaurants and ready-made shirts. Bloomfield was wrong. He wouldn't be some Harvard wunderkind named Brook or Wesley in a seven-hundred-dollar suit and platinum cuff links who would make me a million suing the cops for false arrest. No, he'd be some sharp, cynical, crafty sonofabitch from NYU named Al or Victor in a seven-hundred-dollar suit he hadn't paid for and a gold watch who'd make me two million suing the cops.UPDATE: As commenter CLSgrad says, Columbia was indeed victorious in this year's student game and halftime faculty match, though note that one of our departing professors, Cynthia Estlund (she of songs about Property law fame), assisted in the 3-2 win.