April 18, 2007

Piglet Was the Bailiff

by PG

From the Powells.com blog:

After the Walt Disney Company "informed a federal magistrate last month that it would not participate in settlement talks with the family that owns the licensing rights to the characters," it looks like Winnie-the-Pooh is going back to court. An anonymous source slipped me a transcript of the earlier courtroom proceedings, excerpted below.

OWL: Court will come to order. The prosecution may call its first witness.

RABBIT: Your Honor, I call Tigger to the stand!

[Witness takes the stand. After much bouncing up and down and declaring that taking oaths is what Tiggers do best, witness finally settles down.]

RABBIT: Mr. Tigger, do you recall the defendant signing an exclusive licensing deal with my client, the Walt Disney Company?

TIGGER: Well, I think he did only it's hard to tell 'cause I was standin' on my head 'cause that's what Tiggers do best, but Roo said I said bouncin' on our tails was what Tiggers do best and I said both is what we do best so I showed him by bouncin' on my head—

RABBIT: Your Honor, permission to treat this witness as hostile.

OWL: Granted.

RABBIT: Isn't it true that you and the defendant colluded to deny the Walt Disney Company its inalienable right to make billions of dollars on your likeness without giving you one penny? I WANT THE TRUTH!

TIGGER: [Breaks down crying.] Tiggers can't handle the truth!

RABBIT: I have nothing further, Your Honor.

OWL: Cross?

POOH: Oh, bother. Tigger, do you recall — tiddly pom — I can't even recall what I wanted you to recall. Oh, bother. Defense rests.

I hope to have a full transcript of testimony from Eeyore as soon as it's available.

April 18, 2007 01:17 PM | TrackBack
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