After clicking on the Curmudgeonly Clerk's link to the Southern District Court of Texas, I was confronted with the following pop-up window:

The reasons most likely to get your pleadings stricken:
No averment of conference by movant (LR 7)
Not signed by, or by permission of, the attorney in charge (LR 11.3)
No certificate of service (LR 5.4)
No proposed Order (LR 7.1 & 7.4)

I'm not entirely sure why I find this so amusing; perhaps it is the David Letterman-esque wording. If Jeremy begins writing for a comedy show, I would expect a Top Ten list like this.

Perhaps it's just the awesome efficiency represented by this pop-up. Suppose that you're an angry plaintiff wondering what happened to your pleading, so you go online to find the phone number of the person responsible. Clicking on the Southern District's website, you find a pre-emptive answer: "Before you bother us, make sure you got all this stuff right, bucko."

The only problem is that the first possibility, at least, is rather difficult to understand. I know what all the words mean separately, but I wouldn't bet on my ability to guess correctly what they mean all together.